It worries me sometimes when I realize I can't bring myself to neither laugh nor scowl in the face of hypocrisy.
You ridicule me about refraining from lengthening the issue, yet you mumble and grumble on for hours on end.
You talk so incredulously, as if doing so will make things better.
You tell me that I'm your only hope, that I'm the only way you've got left.
You tell me to never let you down,
yet,
how is that possible?
When it's you who puts me down.

I'm getting tired.
I can only be resilient for so long.
I hope you won't be surprised when I take your word for it,
and leave.

It's at these low points in my life when I realize the number of chances I've missed. It makes me wish I could turn back time just to try to do things differently, regardless of the outcome. I'm no longer certain if I am still living with the motto; "no regrets" because it gets hard sometimes.

It's at these low points in my life where I wish I could just escape. It's when the sanctuary that is my bathroom no longer satisfies me and I can only pretend I'm not where I currently am.

It's at these low points in my life that make me realize who's really there for me. It makes me see that there are people in my life that really care, and find every which way to cheer me up. I find them literally in my dreams, yes. My dreams! (You know who you guys are ♥!)

It's at these low points in my life where I find myself extremely grateful to these people, but find myself unable to express that properly. So I can only hope that they know just how grateful I am. Because I truly am! And don't you guys ever forget that I'll be there for you too, no matter what!

♥~

So it's 4:28 A.M. and I am OH SO VERY TIRED. But sleepless. I sat through almost 300 pages of Twilight and I absolutely positively love it, no matter how "mainstream" or "trendy" it has become. Why put a label on appreciating a good piece of literature? What has the world become for people to be overly insecure about what they read?
Quit with the coy act - and


And now, to recover from my chronic illness that is insomnia (or nocturnalism, whichever you prefer to call it).

adieu ~ ♥.

P.S. Damn, I am so anal about my posts! I just realized I've edited this one entry at least FIVE times. I think I'm satisfied with it. I dunno. Thank goodness my dad doesn't have work today or else I'd be dead meat right now. (LOL it's 5 A.M. oh SNAP!) Wth? "doesn't" appears to be an incorrect word? UGH screw it!

P.P.S. LOL nvm, I edited again. I SWEAR THIS IS THE LAST TIME.

P.P.P.S. SCREW YOU LJ STOP MESSING WITH ME D: !!

... I realized just how much I dislike driving my dad's 2001 Alero. Not only does it make me feel fatter than I already am when driving on the road, but it's simply impossible to feel comfortable sitting in the drivers seat! There's always something bothering me therefore somewhat impairing my focus. Shoulder checking is a pain not only in the ass, but for my neck too D: !
But maybe this is all just an excuse for my crappy night-driving ;D
But no srsly. I think it'll be awhile until I drive at night while it's raining. The raindrops obscure my already obscured eyesight because those damn glares are dedly.

Now, to do my homework (maybe).

adieu ~ ♥

Someone please make me stop taking hour-long showers.

...I am now sixteen! I don't feel any different at all (and why should I?), I'm not excited nor am I disheartened at how my day has turned out. I think birthdays lost their panache a long time ago. However, I still thank and appreciate everyone who brightened up my day with a simple birthday greeting!

On a side note, I am aware I fell off the face of the LiveJournal world yet again. I've been lacking in content to write, not to mention time. Gah! I knew school would get in the way of things. Speaking of which, I need to get back to my homework!

~adieu, ♥!

And thus, the bliss we know as summer vacation has come to an end. And the terrors of the catastrophe we know as school has begun to unfold... Just kidding.
But seriously, summer vacation has ended and I feel like it never even started! Heck, it felt more like a subdued three-day so-called "Spring Break." But there's no point in complaining. I mean it's not like it's going to suddenly convince the Educational Administration that school isn't necessary, because in truth it is.

Anyway, on an off topic note... I am absolutely stunned at how songs can completely relate to a person and/or a situation. It's almost scary. However, maybe it's because we want it to relate to us. Almost like an illusion... Made from soundwaves! (Ew, Physics lol).

If anyone cares and is interested in any way, these are the songs that seem far too fitting for something I'm thinking of at the moment. It's almost like a story!:

Runnin' - Jesse McCartney
The Scientist - Coldplay
Awakening - Mae
Better in Time - Leona Lewis
Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word - Elton John (how awesome is he!?)
Told You So - Jesse McCartney
Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely) - P!nk
Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade
Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

I wonder, if anybody will be able to figure out what kind of story this suggests by simple deductive reasoning...

adieu~ ♥!

So here I am, writing my first entry.
But what will it be about? What will the rest of this journal be about? Am I getting ahead of myself?
Why did I start this again?

I wish to express my thoughts openly and freely here, to be at ease in the process. However, is that even possible if I constantly feel insecure?
Well first off, I need to stop asking questions! I need to just... Go with the flow- It's about time I get my creative juices flowing again, and what better time than any when school officially starts, tomorrow! Ugh D:
Maybe when I get over the fact that this journal is so public, I will write a proper entry... Maybe. lol

~adieu, ♥.